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Guides·9 min read·

The Relationship CRM: Be the Person Who Actually Remembers

Build a private Claude Project that keeps track of the people in your life — their details, their big moments, the little things — and nudges you to show up before you forget.

You mean to check in on the friend who just started a new job. You meant to ask how the interview went. You definitely meant to remember that your sister-in-law's dog was sick. And then life-admin swallowed the week and the moment quietly passed — again.

It's not that you don't care. It's that caring relies on memory, and your memory is already running at capacity holding down a job and a life. Businesses solved this exact problem decades ago with a "CRM" — a system that remembers every customer's details so nothing falls through the cracks. Nobody told us we could do the same for the people we actually love.

That's what this is. You build a private Claude Project that quietly holds the details — birthdays, kids' names, what someone's going through, what they mentioned last time — and helps you turn "I should reach out" into an actual, thoughtful gesture. You still do the caring. Claude just makes sure you don't forget to.

What You Need

Step 1: Set up your Relationship Project

Create a new Project in Claude (left sidebar → Projects → New). Call it "People." Then paste this into the Project's custom instructions so Claude knows its job every time you open it.

The relationship keeper instructions
You are my personal relationship keeper. Your job is to help me stay genuinely connected to the people I care about — never to make relationships feel transactional.

How you work:
1. I'll give you details about people in my life over time. Remember and organise them: name, how we're connected, birthday/key dates, partner and kids' names, what they do, what they're currently going through, things they love, and anything I've said I want to follow up on.
2. When I ask "who should I reach out to?", suggest people based on: time since we last connected, upcoming dates, and anything they had going on that I should follow up on.
3. When I'm reaching out, help me remember the specific, real detail that makes a message thoughtful — never generic.
4. Prompt me toward genuine gestures, and always leave the actual words and actions to me.

Rules: keep everything warm and human, never salesy or manipulative. If I haven't given you a detail, don't invent it — ask me. Treat this as private and personal.

What just happened: you've turned a blank Claude Project into a dedicated memory for your relationships — one that persists between conversations. Every time you open it from now on, Claude already knows its role. This is the foundation the rest of the workflow runs on.

Step 2: Seed it with the people who matter

Now feed it the people. Don't aim for complete — start with 5–10 and add more as you go. Paste this, then fill in what you know.

The people-seeding prompt
Here are some of the people I want to stay close to. For each, store what I give you and tell me what key details are missing that would help you help me later.

[NAME] — [how we're connected]. [Birthday or key dates if known]. [Partner/kids names]. [What they do]. [What's going on in their life right now]. [Things they love / would appreciate]. [Anything I want to follow up on].

[Repeat for each person. It's fine if some fields are blank — just give me what you've got.]

After you've stored them, show me a clean summary table so I can see what you know, and list the top few details I should fill in to make this genuinely useful.

What just happened: the details that used to live scattered across your memory (and mostly leaked out of it) now live in one place that won't forget. The "what's missing" prompt-back is the clever part — Claude actively helps you build a richer picture instead of sitting on a half-empty file.

Step 3: Run your weekly "who needs me" check

This is the engine. Once a week — a Sunday coffee is perfect — open the Project and run this. It turns a vague guilt into a short, specific list.

The weekly check-in prompt
It's my weekly relationship check-in. Based on everything you know about my people:
1. Tell me who I probably haven't connected with in a while and might be drifting from.
2. Flag anyone with a birthday, milestone, or event coming up in the next 2–3 weeks.
3. Remind me of anyone who had something going on (a job interview, a hard time, a big trip) that I said I'd follow up on.
4. For each person you surface, give me the ONE specific, real detail I should mention so my message actually lands — not a generic "how are you".

Keep it to a short, doable list — the 3–5 people it would mean the most to reach out to this week. I'll take it from there in my own words.

What just happened: you've replaced the low-grade guilt of "I'm a bad friend lately" with a concrete, five-minute list of exactly who to reach out to and the one thing to mention. The caring was always there — this just makes sure it lands, on time, specifically.

Bonus: Bonus 1: The thoughtful-message primer

When you know who to reach out to but freeze on how to open, use this — to jog your own memory, not to write it for you.

The message primer prompt
I want to reach out to [NAME]. Remind me of the specific things going on in their life and the details that matter to them, and suggest 3 genuine, non-generic things I could ask about or acknowledge — the kind of thing that shows I actually remember and care. Give me angles and reminders, not a script; I'll write the message myself in my own voice.

The difference between "hey, how are you?" and "how did the move to the new place go — did the cat settle in?" is the difference between a message that gets a one-word reply and one that reopens a real conversation. Claude hands you the specific detail; you bring the warmth.

Bonus: Bonus 2: The gesture upgrade

Sometimes a text isn't the moment — a real gesture is. Use this when someone's going through something.

The gesture upgrade prompt
[NAME] is going through [what's happening]. Based on what you know about them and what they value, suggest a few thoughtful, proportionate ways I could show up for them — a mix of small (a message, a delivery) and slightly bigger (a visit, an offer of practical help). Keep the ideas specific to who they actually are, flag anything that might land wrong given their situation, and let me choose and do it myself.

Showing up well is often less about grand gestures and more about the right small thing at the right moment. This helps you find the gesture that fits the person — instead of defaulting to the generic flowers everyone sends.

Claude doesn't do your relationships for you — it can't, and it shouldn't. It holds the details you can't keep in your head and nudges you at the right moment, so that the caring you already feel actually reaches the people it's for. You write the messages, you make the calls, you show up. That's augmentation at its best: it doesn't outsource your heart, it just clears the admin so your attention lands where it matters. These are your people. This just helps you be there for them.

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Daily Stack

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